Equilibrium
by Emerald Embers
Summary: Snuggles with Simon, Kieren, and Amy, because they didn't get enough chances to be BDFF cuddle buddies in the show. Kieren/Simon, with Simon, Kieren, and Amy as queerplatonic BFFs.


Death had denied Simon a traditional afterlife. He supposed he ought to be thankful for that, given his accidental overdose had brushed up against suicide closely enough to warrant damnation. Maybe he would have been thankful if he hadn't woken to dead skin that doctors wanted to cut open over and over, as if God had decided to grant his prayers for a numb body as literally as possible. Maybe he would have been thankful if he hadn't torn his own mother apart.

For a time, Simon had wondered if he had just misinterpreted Hell; church had promised flames, but the Bible had promised an absence of God coupled with wailing and the gnashing of teeth.

He hadn't felt God's presence in life or in death, and in the treatment centre, there had been plenty of wailing and gnashing of teeth.

The ULA took him out of Hell and back to Earth, give him a home, a purpose, people who accepted his new face. Amy had given him love, even when he was clumsy with the words he used to show it to her in turn, his attempts at honesty coming out too blunt or too vague.

And then there was Kieren. The only angels that belonged in Hell were those who had fallen, and if Kieren had fallen with them, Simon would gladly call himself a Satanist.

.

Simon had never given much thought to Heaven - it was easier to believe in the other place - but he had hoped if there was one, it would be peaceful. Soft white light, little or no sound, and freedom to sleep without dreaming.

He was starting to think he'd misinterpreted that too.

Heaven ought to be a blanket strewn over hay bales, firelight glowing nearby and the dulled beat of muffled dubstep running through his blackened veins. Heaven ought to be Amy Dyer lying at his left with her head resting on his shoulder, and Kieren Walker sitting behind him, combing those artistic fingers through Simon's hair.

Amy had overindulged in sheep's brains again, having helped herself to the portion Simon had refused because he'd had enough of addiction in his previous life. She'd danced and danced with Kieren until she decided her feet were sore despite that being unlikely, then wandered outside to bestow kisses and hugs on both of them while claiming a space for herself on the hay bales. Overindulgence had left her dizzy and wanting to lie down, and Kieren was happy for all three of them to curl up together if it meant giving Amy a chance to stretch and both him and Simon space to look after her.

Simon didn't object in the slightest to lying down alongside the best friend he'd ever had and the most beautiful boy he'd ever met, especially with Amy loudly proclaiming Simon and Kieren her "angels" as she settled, bemoaning their lack of glow-stick halos.

Simon knew he had a mission he ought to be working on - he ought to be talking to others who were sat around the fire, gathering rising stories and working towards finding the First Risen - but he couldn't remember ever having felt so content before, and didn't want to ruin the moment by moving.

Hours passed with the three of them curled up together, sometimes talking, sometimes kissing, the rest of the undead filtering out as the night wore on until the music turned off and they were alone around the dying fire in their own, comfortable silence.

Simon had an arm around each of the people he loved most in the world, and the fact they weren't shying away from his touch had him holding on all the tighter.

"We should get going," Kieren said, the voice of reason as always, and Simon nodded to himself; Kieren was still eighteen in his parents' eyes, always would be, and they would want him home safe and sound.

"There's a phone at mine," Amy grumbled sleepily, "Just leave a message for your mum, she loves me."

Simon didn't dare look up to see what Kieren thought of her suggestion, though he heard his snort of laughter.

"Yeah, alright."

Simon resisted punching the air in excitement, even if his hands tensed in preparation to do so, but he did allow himself a grin.

.

It didn't take long to put out the bonfire and lock up the warehouse - cleaning up could wait until later - and the walk back to the bungalow didn't feel as long as usual with Amy chatting away and the night time scenery of Roarton to take in. Simon had been struck by its desolate beauty when he first arrived, the grey-green hills and valleys of English countryside, and the early morning dark flattered it all the more.

They half-ran the last few steps of their journey as rain started to pour down, Amy squealing and Kieren laughing, all three of them tumbling through the door in quick succession. There was a moment of shared relief at being indoors before they divided up, Kieren to make his phone call, Simon and Amy to change their clothes and make Amy's bed presentable.

Simon wasn't too surprised or offended when Amy fell asleep instead of waiting for Kieren to join them first. He kept the sheets on his side of the bed rolled back, and drummed his fingers together, nervous at the prospect of sharing a bed with Kieren. Why he felt more nervous now than he had when they were all piled together on the hay bales he wasn't sure, but the t-shirt and boxers he'd worn to bed felt like nothing all of a sudden, and he hoped it wouldn't be too much for Kieren to cope with.

He should have known better. Kieren paused in the doorway only a moment, the hallway light giving his coppery hair a blond halo before he closed the door behind him, and then it was straight to business, peeling off his layers and setting them aside in a crumpled pile.

Kieren slid in next to him, boxer-briefs the only thing he'd left on, pulled the sheets up and let their bare arms and bare legs meet.

If Simon hadn't heard Kieren's quick, shallow breaths he would never have guessed Kieren was nervous too.

"You alright?" Simon whispered as he hugged Kieren tight, and Kieren nodded, tucking his head against Simon's neck.

"Always wanted to do this with someone," Kieren said, "Just never thought I'd get the chance." A beat of silence passed, Kieren settling himself more comfortably, before he added, "Thanks."

Simon kept quiet, holding Kieren as close as he could, and shut his eyes when he felt Amy roll over and wrap her own arm around his waist.

He didn't deserve them. Either of them.

But they seemed to think they deserved him.

.

Amy was the first to rise, blowing a raspberry against Simon's ear until he woke then nudging him to do the same to Kieren, before reminding them all it was a Friday and they still had their government-approved subjugation to endure. Kieren didn't stay long, quick goodbye kisses issued before he dressed and left to go home and get his bib.

Amy was slower to get ready, packing her bib in an oversized handbag before heading to the bathroom to get changed, talking away about her plans for the day over a chorus of clinking bottles and ruffled fabric.

Simon stretched out in the bed lazily, imagining that the two of them had been warm and he could still feel that warmth. It was a fantasy, but a fantasy helped by the smell of Amy's perfume on one side of the bed and Kieren's shampoo on the other. There was a faint orange stain where Kieren had rested his head that Amy would kill him for later, and Simon laughed at the thought.

They weren't angels, they were people. Beautiful, incredible people.

And a life on Earth was worth living with them at his side.


End file.
